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Review – “The Babysitter” Is Tons Of Gory Fun

Let me just start by saying how much I like McG, I mean I can’t be the only girl to say that watching Charlie’s Angels wasn’t a life changing experience. However, I was a tiny bit worried at first, hoping the trailer didn’t try to fit in every good part of the movie, leaving a bland mess when it was time to sit down to watch it. But nope, this is quite the opposite.

I will say two things right now:

  1. This film is not your average horror movie, its about 60% comedy and 40% horror/gore, but it’s so much fun the numbers shouldn’t matter.
  2. This has a Mad Men spoiler for those of us (including me) who have never seen it nor finished every season.

Now on with the show…

This film is about Cole, a 12 year old boy and his relationship with his babysitter, the super hot Samara Weaving but one night he stays up to see what she does after he goes to sleep, and instead of engaging in teenage orgies, she is killing nerds as sacrifices for Satan for her cult of…well, other super hot teenagers. He finds her out, and takes down all the teens one by one with his clever pre-teen plans (including killing one girl with a firework) and eventually drives a car through his babysitter. By the end, he destroys the cult, ruins his house, kisses his crush, and declares that he no longer needs a babysitter.

And seriously, you’ve gotta hear the one-liners.


This is a great story of someone you love and trust turning out to be a complete stranger, simply using you and your innocence to sacrifice. This story takes place in the span of mostly a single day, and it gives the audience just enough time to understand the character’s relationships, their personalities, and how it all ties into the story. Although, my only harp is there could have been a bit more background on Bee, the babysitter, and her cult and where she picked this shit up at. Otherwise, it’s well done. Solid, ya dig?

It’s very inventive, like I said before, it throws in a ton of pop culture references with the explorative imagination of a 12-year old, but it hones in on the reality that we don’t find very often in movies of this sub-genre. For example, in this movie, the kid doesn’t jump out the window to escape because he’s on the second floor. In every other film….you get the idea.



Since everything is over the top, the acting is a bit too, but it all works. It just works so well, go fucking watch this movie, guys.

Each character we meet has a unique personality trait that makes them eccentric, but they also have their own cliche roles, such as Bella Thorne posing as the dumb cheerleader, but her eccentricities come out when, after being shot in the chest, is worried only about the safety of her “deflated boob” instead of bleeding to death. She is a hard one to kill, and ends up being one of the last ones to die, very resilient indeed. *insert heart eyes emoji*


Another character eccentricity is Max, the shirtless football player, who, instead of being a bully, is trying to help Cole stand up for himself, shouting inspirational things while chasing him down to kill him.

Anyway, the whole Cole/Bee relationship is adorable. He is so in love with her, but they hang out like best friends. She stands up for him too when he gets bullied, and she makes me want to be the “cool babysitter” up until we find out she’s using him.


The cinematography utilizes character blocking and camera cuts in a great way. It’s exciting to watch at every turn, and even the soundtrack (score?) is fantastic. Whoever wrote the script did a great job, this movie doesn’t spew dumb jokes, the shit is actually funny to people with brains! Yeah! Once again, great job throwing in pop culture references in real time. At one point, Max is chasing Cole in the middle of the night in a scary, foggy lawn and he does that Friday the 13th thing:

Yeah, why didn’t think of that?

Also, for the love of GORE and when there is, there is a lot of it. Thank you is all I have to say.


Sort of but not really in the slightest?

I mean bullying is a real aspect, and this killing the babysitter thing was just a life event that made Cole courageous instead of a tiny nerdy pushover.

All in all, I give this an Awww Yeah! Although it didn’t fuck me up, it’s nice to see great gore effects in a funny movie with a linear plot that makes sense. Yipee!

Until next time, peace out!


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